do you remember your first day of college? mine was three thousand miles from comfortable. i cried for hours after my mother left me. sitting on the swing set on sarah lawrence campus, i kicked my toes into the dirt and rubbed my nose raw with my sleeve. that night i had dreams of my parents burning in a falling plane. and the next week i wrote letters. "i don't think this whole college thing is going to work out." the following month, i never wanted to leave.
today, my sister left for college. she sobbed when she got in the car. guttural chokes, red cheeks, orange colored rings around her eyes from pressing hard, trying to hold the tears in.
darling, darling, don't you know i would trade places with you in a second if i could? i would, i would, i swear, give anything to be going where you are going.
i will write you letters, i will come for football games.
i am not the best big sister, but i am trying.
